My 2011

7 Dec

My 2011

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Recent Ramblings

7 Dec

Second day of being off work ill so I thought, seeing as I’m in bed with nothing to do, why not sort out my blog. I haven’t been on here properly for months so I thought I’d have a little tidy up, after all, change is a good thing.

When change happens in my life out of my control I always feel like i need to counteract it by making changes I can control. So to start…I’ll start with my blog :)

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7 Dec

when i was little,
i thought the sun and moon
followed me everywhere.

7 Dec

and it seems it was over
before it even started
all because you said so.

untitled.

27 Mar

We loved with a love that was more than love.  ~Edgar Allan Poe

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<3

15 Mar

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untitled.

15 Mar

wishes i’d open my eyes and just see,

sometimes.

untitled.

9 Mar

Hours roll into days, days into weeks

half standing still, half still moving,

with no words to speak,

paint stained images pass my lids

stinging, burning, blurring.

You’re fading again,

my memory won’t hold you for more than a few seconds.

My eyes begin to water as I know that’s all

all my memory can give,

all it can squeeze out.

Each time a little less detailed.

Soon enough you’ll just be a shadowed figure,

the outline to a once filled shape.

 

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untitled.

13 Jun

private call again, i heard you breathing, i saw your face at the other end holding the phone, wanting to speak but not finding the words, but really i heard nothing, and it was just hope that lead me to believe it was you…<3 (another quote from my novel in the making..)

Remain.

15 May

i hate the fact i can’t let go because of you,

you make me go back everytime,

every single time because of you.

you make me believe one day we’ll be ok

you make me believe there is still a chance.

why do you torment me?

me and loves business was over.

i hate the fact you always make me come running

soon to fall again.

i still run, fall and get back up again

all because of you

you drive me crazy

you keep me going

you bring my heart comfort

which always ends in tears

i want to give up but you wont let me

everytime im close to letting go

you show me a sign

a sign you’re still around

that love still has a chance back in my heart.

you keep me strong when i feel weak

pushing me forward

whispering ‘don’t give up’

everytime i think it’s time.

but how long will i believe you

how long until i will give up in you

and finally say im done?

what annoys me the most is however much you seem to lead me to pain, time and time again you won’t leave my heart.  and for that i can’t hate you, not even a little. because if it wasn’t for you my life would have no meaning an id have no reason to smile

and for that…

HOPE….

i love you x

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