when i was little,
i thought the sun and moon
followed me everywhere.

untitled.

wishes i’d open my eyes and just see,

sometimes.

untitled.

Hours roll into days, days into weeks

half standing still, half still moving,

with no words to speak,

paint stained images pass my lids

stinging, burning, blurring.

You’re fading again,

my memory won’t hold you for more than a few seconds.

My eyes begin to water as I know that’s all

all my memory can give,

all it can squeeze out.

Each time a little less detailed.

Soon enough you’ll just be a shadowed figure,

the outline to a once filled shape.

© Misseldr 2011

Tags: alone, beautiful, breakup, broken heart, expression, expressive, heart broken, loneliness, lonely, lost, love, poem, poetry, reflection, sad, sadness, thoughts

untitled.

private call again, i heard you breathing, i saw your face at the other end holding the phone, wanting to speak but not finding the words, but really i heard nothing, and it was just hope that lead me to believe it was you…<3 (another quote from my novel in the making..)

Remain.

i hate the fact i can’t let go because of you,

you make me go back everytime,

every single time because of you.

you make me believe one day we’ll be ok

you make me believe there is still a chance.

why do you torment me?

me and loves business was over.

i hate the fact you always make me come running

soon to fall again.

i still run, fall and get back up again

all because of you

you drive me crazy

you keep me going

you bring my heart comfort

which always ends in tears

i want to give up but you wont let me

everytime im close to letting go

you show me a sign

a sign you’re still around

that love still has a chance back in my heart.

you keep me strong when i feel weak

pushing me forward

whispering ‘don’t give up’

everytime i think it’s time.

but how long will i believe you

how long until i will give up in you

and finally say im done?

what annoys me the most is however much you seem to lead me to pain, time and time again you won’t leave my heart.  and for that i can’t hate you, not even a little. because if it wasn’t for you my life would have no meaning an id have no reason to smile

and for that…

HOPE….

i love you x

Tags: hope, love

LOVE-A prisoner to ones own disguise.

Through these holes I peer through onto the world, I see the world through two holes, circular, round, But the world seems so flat, so 2D As if I looked hard enough in a straight line I’d see the end. Maybe if I walked towards it I’d fall Fall, tumble and be free. No wind touches my cheeks just cold metal Like a frozen smile..my face remains still unmoving, unfeeling. A prisoner to ones own disguise. Hide without the seek, I am left never to be found For this mask conceals me. My fingertips keep touching, but no face lies there For all I can feel is metal, cold metal Feeling for an edge, a corner…nothing. Moulded to my face this mask remains. Like a triangle, no purpose..lines, corners Hidden, unseen, vanished, gone. Have I given in, has this mask hidden me.. forever? Became my identity? But it’s not me, I’m still here..hiding. BUT I AM HERE. I just can’t unmask myself, I’m scared… I’m scared to feel..to be seen.. to see..the real me.

Tags: depressed, expessive writing, heartbreak, lost, love, pain, poetry

Another NEW YouTube love…

I was doing my usual evening browsing on Youtube and came across this man: AMAZING beautiful voice accompanied by beautiful lyrics. Simply just perfect For song skip to 30 seconds. His name is Airto..Enjoy.

Tags: Airto, beauty, hope, love, youtube

Untitled.

‘Sometimes I look back and see your face, my face, our faces smiling, the perfect bubble that capsulated our ‘happiness’.. you were everything I ever thought ‘love’ was.. wait no, what love ‘is’… but then I look back harder..and I see that this image is a mere painting in my mind.. one that I painted myself..’

Tags: breakup, broken heart, lost, love, reflection, thoughts

PASSION- Jeremy Manongdo (acoustic YouTube artist)

I have been following Passion for several years now, he is an acoustic artist who started off as just a guy recording himself singing in his room. His music speaks of Love, Hope and Passion, he is a true inspiration and is exceptionally talented. His songs have helped me through the trials and tribulations this world has thrown at me.

I had the chance to see PASSION in concert on Sunday evening (14th March.) His performance was immense, I was extremely excited as this was the first time I had the opportunity to see him sing live and in such an intimate setting with only about 200 people.

I even had the opportunity to meet him after the show, get a signed CD and a photo. He is a great guy, who gives time to the people who admire him. He sings of his girlfriend over seas and the love he has for her. His strength and love gives me hope that love is still out there.

Below I have posted a few of his YouTube video clips, hopefully his voice will touch you the ways in which it has me.

my favourite of all his songs..

Check out his other YouTube videos on his YouTube channel: passionsf

Tags: beautiful, breakup, broken heart, future, heart broken, hope, love, music, passion

Last

‘My memory has faded, these events with it, some of which I don’t even know if actually happened or were made up, put together dream sequences…’ – Misseldr

(another snippet from my story I am in the process of writing)

Tags: breakup, confusion, dream, expression, expressive, hope, love, memories