Archive | February, 2010

Rain.

28 Feb

Outside it pours, and all i see through the down pour is your face.

How i long to dance with you in the rain once again.

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4 Feb

How could he leave me like this?

I’m so selfish. Why was I so stubborn? How I wanted to just hold him close in my arms and show I didn’t care, everything was fine. But I didn’t want him to think I was a walkover so I kept my ground. Refusing.

I’m so stupid. He’s gone, we’re gone. FOREVER. Hearing those words leave his mouth, cutting me so easily, so deeply like tiny shards of glass, piercing my skin, releasing my anger.

I was so ANGRY, furious that he compared me to her. How he hated her and for him to say I was ‘just like her’ my heart stopped, our book slammed shut in my face.

What had I done? I’ve messed it up. But it wasn’t me, it was him. He’s messing with my mind, switching and turning. It WAS HIM. He started it. I hated him I wanted him gone. How silly of me.

I want him back, I want him now. ‘I want to go’ he kept saying, what was keeping him? Why couldn’t he just leave, that was what I really wanted him to do..to leave, to turn his feet around and walk.

I wanted to run down the road to the park to sit, to be alone. Why did I want to be alone? To clear my head? To cry? ‘Just GO then!’ my tongue snapped and with that he sharply turned and went. What had I done? What had I said?

Why was I sad..he had listened and was gone, it was what I wanted, wasn’t it? NO! I wanted him to stay I didn’t want him to leave on such bad terms.. I just knew it was over. No hug, no kiss goodbye..how I long for a goodbye cuddle just one last time.

He died hating me and me hating him. He died alone, as did I that night.

hope.

4 Feb

her.

3 Feb

I saw them today

as I looked down from my window

on to the street beneath

I saw them.

Holding hands so happy in love

A tinge of green rage flooded

my veins.

I close my eyes

and when I reopened them

it was my hand he was holding

it was me he was holding

it was me he was loving

it was his heart that loved only me.

I turned and I looked up

to that window above

I saw a girl

so full of sadness

so lonely

with a longing to feel love,

and a loathing to fill my shoes,

to feel his touch once again,

for him to love her and not me.

I saw them today

as I looked down from my window

on to the street beneath me

I saw them

Happy.

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The last petal.

3 Feb

I went back there,
I went back to where i last saw you,
And you were there
Sitting, staring.

I walked towards you half smiling
I held the door handle in my palm
And pulled the door shut.
Still smiling i turned
And i walked.

Walked away
For i knew that was our last night
Our last place of meeting
And that you wernt really there
For this was jus a memory incased vision
I couldn’t stop smiling
For now i knew i was truely free.

Cupid withdrew that arrow
The arrow he once
Pieced my heart with
And my love was free
From your tight grasp
I was free.

And that stranger of the night
No longer held my heart
I was free.