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blurred pages.

20 Aug

I need to get it out, it’s boiling up, spilling over the edges. I need to get it out.
Trying to keep it down, trying to keep it hidden but it’s starting to ache, it’s starting to show.

I need to get it out.

My mind is caged but she is rattling the bars, she won’t stay there for long, she wants out. She wants to be free, free to run wild through the fields of my conscience. She wants out and so do I.

To be free.

It’s like the pages of my book are being turned too quickly. Too fast for me to even feel the edges of the pages as they turn, to take in the musty smell of fresh ink. I want them to slow down, slow down so i can take in every word, every line. They’re turning too quickly and before i know it they’ll be gone.



15 Jan

They lay so heavy on my mind
Those words spoken in rage
They lay so heavy on my mind
Like weighted dreams, running
So heavy on my mind.



14 Jan

So you said it in vain.

You said it because you were angry.

Did it make you feel better?

Those bitter words that left your tongue.

Words that can never now be undone.

Did it make you feel better?

That pain that travelled to my heart

Like a knife fired in the dark

Did it make you feel better?

Selfishly said..



I hope you feel better.


Feeling a little.. not quite here this morning….

10 Jan


This morning I heard someone whisper my name as I was approaching the end of my dream, that moment when you’re almost at the end of the tunnel and can feel the real world starting to take hold. I answered yes…just as softly as they had called my name…only to open my eyes and realise I was laying in my bed…
in the dark..

The Invitation

8 Jan

What a beautiful piece of writing..

I love reading other people’s words, I find it so inspiring especially when their words touch a place of things to be written.


The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for,

and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.

I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,

for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon.

I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow,

if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or

have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own,

without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own,

if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you

to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be

careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you’re telling me is true.

I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself;

if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.

I want to know if you can be faithless

and therefore be trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty

even when it’s not pretty, every day,

and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,

and still stand on the edge of a lake

and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes”!

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and

despair, weary and bruised to the bone,

and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you are, how you came to be here.

I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.

I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself,

and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

– Oriah Mountain Dreamer


7 Jan

Like standing in a dark room, blinded, trying to find the light,

that sweet smell of burning wood and the sound of crackling embers

licking the edges of the walls, helplessly dancing.

The sound and smell almost painting a picture of the flames in your mind

it almost appears before your eyes, that orange glow, warm..

I’m home.


young love.

25 Apr

I want that pure love again

That love that knew of no doubts

No deceit or lies

That love that was true

That love that reached all limits and all boundaries

That love that went beyond the known and into the distance

That love that knew of no hurt or heartbreak

I want that pure love again

That love that trusted wholly

That young love

The love that only comes from the innocent

Like the love of a child

So beautiful and untainted

From a heart that has never known of pain

Where there are no walls or barriers

To break down or climb

It’s just a walk down that road

Into the unknown

I want that pure love again

No expectations

Where your feet are off the ground


I wonder if I will see you again one day…


if you take awa…

23 Apr

if you take away fear
all that is left is love..
and if you learn to appreciate the differences
you’ll find true beauty in them ~ Misseldr ♥



21 Mar

so someone died today, under a tube.

i hear you sigh, and roll your eyes

yet another who takes their life so selfishly?

but you’re wrong.

so quick to judge

it was an unwanted last song

he fell.

the screams as they tried to pull him to safety.

the wind began to howl

and the eyes of death soon approached

the screams

the grappling of clothes.

no strength would pull him from his unfortunate fate

14th March- a man died today, hit by a tube.

© Misseldr 2012



20 Mar

It feels like someone came in the night and stole my happiness

Someone came and stole the life that shone in my heart

I feel empty

I can’t even hear the sound of my heart

If it is even still in there

Just when I get excited about it

Just when I decided to start to tell everyone about it

My face began to glow, my skin glowed

I had never felt such true happiness

A pure happiness, right to the core

I wanted to share my happiness I wanted to tell the world

But I wanted to make sure

Make sure it was going to last this time

Right to the end.

Not like the last 2, over before they even really started

But I had hope

I had faith,

This was going to be different

This was going to be the one

But it was on that day I opened my mouth

To whisper the news

I had cursed myself once again…

If only I had waited a little longer

Or just not got so excited

Maybe this one would have lasted

Maybe this one would have been the one.

The news came and I knew all too well

It was over

It was done

The curse had one.

Maybe I just wasn’t meant to be

a mum…

© Misseldr 2012